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    Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

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    jokerswild

    Posts: 22
    Join date: 2010-01-27

    Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  jokerswild on Sat May 22, 2010 10:36 pm

    BB's coach has asked all of the parents that he expects some kids to look around at other teams and he is OK with that as long as they're honest. What did we do? We were honest. The result? A tirade.... Oh well, live and learn.....

    clueless

    Posts: 445
    Join date: 2009-08-06

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  clueless on Sun May 23, 2010 6:22 am

    I think he meant some 'other' kids.

    Freeatlast

    Posts: 476
    Join date: 2009-06-23

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Freeatlast on Sun May 23, 2010 10:23 am

    So is your BB a free agent now?

    go99

    Posts: 2013
    Join date: 2009-07-09
    Location: Standing next to Klinsmann wispering in his ear.

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  go99 on Sun May 23, 2010 11:20 am

    Lol, you fell for the oldest trick in the book. . He lured you out with talk of being reasonable, honesty, and understanding. Might as well find another team now, because he is probably the kind of person who would hold it against and take it out on your kid.

    Ibystander

    Posts: 766
    Join date: 2009-08-03

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Ibystander on Sun May 23, 2010 11:33 am

    go99 wrote:Lol, you fell for the oldest trick in the book. . He lured you out with talk of being reasonable, honesty, and understanding. Might as well find another team now, because he is probably the kind of person who would hold it against and take it out on your kid.

    Thataboy, Go. Always there to reassure us.

    FlatBack4

    Posts: 191
    Join date: 2009-06-21
    Location: Online, probably watching you right now (Not!)

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  FlatBack4 on Sun May 23, 2010 1:44 pm

    All that's left is to tell us who the prick of a coach is.

    jokerswild

    Posts: 22
    Join date: 2010-01-27

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  jokerswild on Sun May 23, 2010 8:10 pm

    Flatback, We're not gonna go there...yet....

    go99

    Posts: 2013
    Join date: 2009-07-09
    Location: Standing next to Klinsmann wispering in his ear.

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  go99 on Sun May 23, 2010 9:08 pm

    Maybe if you tell us what division it's in and who it's not.

    finish1

    Posts: 1427
    Join date: 2009-12-03
    Location: In the net

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  finish1 on Sun May 23, 2010 9:31 pm

    Honestly, does it really matter? Just keep bb smilin'!

    wareagle

    Posts: 266
    Join date: 2010-04-05
    Location: Arguing both sides of the fence in every thread

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  wareagle on Mon May 24, 2010 9:10 am

    You aren't the first and you won't be the last, just do whatever makes you bb happy; forget about all the political bs that goes along with it.

    outtabounds

    Posts: 44
    Join date: 2010-02-25

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  outtabounds on Mon May 24, 2010 8:04 pm

    go99 wrote:Lol, you fell for the oldest trick in the book. . He lured you out with talk of being reasonable, honesty, and understanding. Might as well find another team now, because he is probably the kind of person who would hold it against and take it out on your kid.


    I know of two coaches who all but threatened that if his players went anywhere for open practices that they would not be welcomed back on the team. I think that if a bb is already looking that he's not coming back in the first place and who would want to play for a coach who has that kind of attitude anyway.

    wareagle

    Posts: 266
    Join date: 2010-04-05
    Location: Arguing both sides of the fence in every thread

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  wareagle on Tue May 25, 2010 7:22 am

    outtabounds wrote:
    go99 wrote:Lol, you fell for the oldest trick in the book. . He lured you out with talk of being reasonable, honesty, and understanding. Might as well find another team now, because he is probably the kind of person who would hold it against and take it out on your kid.


    I know of two coaches who all but threatened that if his players went anywhere for open practices that they would not be welcomed back on the team. I think that if a bb is already looking that he's not coming back in the first place and who would want to play for a coach who has that kind of attitude anyway.


    shame on any coach who is not confident enough in his own abilities to let one of his players try out or guest play for another team. My bb loves to play the game and if his team is not playing then he looks to another team that is....

    oldcastle

    Posts: 48
    Join date: 2010-02-14
    Location: longe de meu caipirinha

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  oldcastle on Tue May 25, 2010 9:01 am

    At this age the bottom line is fun and learning... when a kid decides to guest play it's either because he wants to play with other friends who might play elsewhere (and his team is not playing), or because he (or his parents) wants to see if he might have a better fit elsewhere. Either way the coach should allow it - only the most insecure coaches will not let this happen.

    wareagle

    Posts: 266
    Join date: 2010-04-05
    Location: Arguing both sides of the fence in every thread

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  wareagle on Tue May 25, 2010 9:48 am

    oldcastle wrote:At this age the bottom line is fun and learning... when a kid decides to guest play it's either because he wants to play with other friends who might play elsewhere (and his team is not playing), or because he (or his parents) wants to see if he might have a better fit elsewhere. Either way the coach should allow it - only the most insecure coaches will not let this happen.


    this!

    jokerswild

    Posts: 22
    Join date: 2010-01-27

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  jokerswild on Fri May 28, 2010 7:42 am

    Another interesting turn taken in this conversation with the coach was that he began to INSULT my kid during the conversation. My kid was not present for the conversation, but I think the coach thought that he needed to "take us down a notch." And his approach? He insulted my kid with three derogatory comments!!!!!! Never mind that my kid has played his ass off for that coach and easily been among the most productive 2-3 kids on the team. By the end of the conversation he was backpeddling and apologizing for losing his cool, but the damage was done. I don't care how angry you are that a kid might leave your team or how angry you are with the parents, you do NOT EVER INSULT AN 11-year old kid!!!!!!! What a friggin' a-hole!!!! Any guesses on how likely we are to return to that team????? And, yes, I will disclose what team...in due time.

    go99

    Posts: 2013
    Join date: 2009-07-09
    Location: Standing next to Klinsmann wispering in his ear.

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  go99 on Fri May 28, 2010 7:49 am

    so due time is after the memorial day but before signing day. Want to make sure I don't make the mistake of ending up there

    oldcastle

    Posts: 48
    Join date: 2010-02-14
    Location: longe de meu caipirinha

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  oldcastle on Fri May 28, 2010 9:21 am

    jokerswild,
    Unfortunately that does happen and it's really not club specific but individual specific; people who don't have the character, integrity, manners and tact necessary to LEAD (yes, I guess some people forget the kids see the manager as their leader) will lose kids and parents regardless of their abilities to coach.
    It is sad to see this in any sport, and at any level, it simply shouldn't happen. Talk about kids learning and having fun... well this is not what your kid should be learning or experiencing.

    I've been lambasted before by saying that I still believe kids at this age should have more time to find a fit with the right team and more flexibility to move to other teams if things don't work out. I do understand however that there needs to be balance so that we don't see musical chairs throughout the season - players constantly moving from one team to the other, etc. this is important for coaches and families. In this same light, it's very sad for the kids to see practices and tryouts in the middle of what should be their vacation, I guess not a lot of people take summer vacations anymore... or prefer to tan their pale skins while watching kids practice football.

    Guest
    Guest

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Guest on Fri May 28, 2010 9:38 am

    I agree about the vacation! But then the schools have the required AP reading for the upper grades so the kids don't get that vacation anymore either!

    outtabounds

    Posts: 44
    Join date: 2010-02-25

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  outtabounds on Fri May 28, 2010 10:37 pm

    jokerswild wrote:Another interesting turn taken in this conversation with the coach was that he began to INSULT my kid during the conversation. My kid was not present for the conversation, but I think the coach thought that he needed to "take us down a notch." And his approach? He insulted my kid with three derogatory comments!!!!!! Never mind that my kid has played his ass off for that coach and easily been among the most productive 2-3 kids on the team. By the end of the conversation he was backpeddling and apologizing for losing his cool, but the damage was done. I don't care how angry you are that a kid might leave your team or how angry you are with the parents, you do NOT EVER INSULT AN 11-year old kid!!!!!!! What a friggin' a-hole!!!! Any guesses on how likely we are to return to that team????? And, yes, I will disclose what team...in due time.


    I don't think anyone blames you to get the hell out of there. We know a lot of kids in that age bracket and would really appreciate a heads up so we can all stay away from this jacka--.

    omega striker

    Posts: 2075
    Join date: 2009-07-02

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  omega striker on Sat May 29, 2010 5:03 pm

    sounds like a real tru A$$hole you have as a coach time to leave and let the coach ruin not only his team but his own rep as a coach!!!

    Pinknupe

    Posts: 89
    Join date: 2010-03-02

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Pinknupe on Sun May 30, 2010 1:01 pm

    no way mon, some highly "paid" coach does than to me lad, I will call the Po-po right away and pres charges for sure!
    Remember, most of these coaches at top 4 club can't get job doing anything else, no college dregree. Let me know who that is and I will call them me self.

    Speedy Gonzales

    Posts: 286
    Join date: 2009-07-24

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Speedy Gonzales on Sun May 30, 2010 5:57 pm

    Pinknupe wrote:no way mon, some highly "paid" coach does than to me lad, I will call the Po-po right away and pres charges for sure!
    Remember, most of these coaches at top 4 club can't get job doing anything else, no college dregree. Let me know who that is and I will call them me self.

    I agree his attitude sucks and he probably shouldn't be coaching 11 year olds but what would you press charges for-"Hurting My Feelings"? Last time I checked, that wasn't a crime. I want to know who it is just as much as the next guy so we will all avoid him but, he's not going to jail no matter how much you think the po po should be involved.

    Pinknupe

    Posts: 89
    Join date: 2010-03-02

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Pinknupe on Sun May 30, 2010 11:06 pm

    Cursing in public is considered abosive language, a soccer pitch is public with 11 yr olds kids present are considered witnesses...that can be a charge especially under NTX rules- considered "unprofesional conduct" enough said.
    Is this correct?

    my2cents

    Posts: 816
    Join date: 2009-07-01

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  my2cents on Mon May 31, 2010 8:39 am

    The last I checked the "po-po" don't arrest people for violating the NTSSA Coaches Code of Conduct. Good luck getting enough signed statements out of parents to get an NTSSA hearing.

    Guest
    Guest

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Guest on Mon May 31, 2010 11:23 am

    Pinknupe...You're correct. Foul language is "obscene" in the state courts. A verbal threat is covered under "Assault" in our state laws, and if any of it is aimed toward a child----it's emotional and verbal child abuse, covered under the Family Code.
    Would the police file charges? Maybe not normally, but with the correct parent standing behind, insisting, oh yeah!

    bootit

    Posts: 68
    Join date: 2010-03-31

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  bootit on Mon May 31, 2010 11:31 am

    whyme wrote:Pinknupe...You're correct. Foul language is "obscene" in the state courts. A verbal threat is covered under "Assault" in our state laws, and if any of it is aimed toward a child----it's emotional and verbal child abuse, covered under the Family Code.
    Would the police file charges? Maybe not normally, but with the correct parent standing behind, insisting, oh yeah!


    I also agree with you Pinknupe and Whyme. Having been around the NTX soccer community for far too many years I know of only one coach who could and would treat a child in this despicable manner. IMO if an adult that knows his reputation allows his bb to play for him than it is to be expected unfortunately. If you perceive his actions to be abusive and threatening I would think it would be punishable by law. If it were me there watching him do this to my bb I would probably be the one in jail because I would kick his butt to Kingdom Kom for thinking he could treat my bb like this. It plain and simple should not be tolerated and aggravates me to no end just hearing you speak your story.

    Speedy Gonzales

    Posts: 286
    Join date: 2009-07-24

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Speedy Gonzales on Mon May 31, 2010 4:55 pm

    Pinknupe wrote:Cursing in public is considered abosive language, a soccer pitch is public with 11 yr olds kids present are considered witnesses...that can be a charge especially under NTX rules- considered "unprofesional conduct" enough said.
    Is this correct?

    Neither of his posts said anything about cursing. His original post said his honesty was met with a "tirade". His second post said the coach made derogatory comments-presumably about his bb's soccer ability. If the coach had cursed, I'm sure he would have said so. Even if he did curse, still not a police matter. NTX Soccer, maybe. Police, no. Like I said before, I agree that the coach was wrong and my kid wouldn't play for him. I just thought the whole idea of calling the police for someone throwing a temper tantrum and acting like a overgrown baby was ludicrous. If that was an option, I'm sure many of our bosses would have been arrested long ago. People just throw around words like "charges" and "sue" way too frivolously.

    Speedy Gonzales

    Posts: 286
    Join date: 2009-07-24

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  Speedy Gonzales on Mon May 31, 2010 5:24 pm

    whyme wrote:Pinknupe...You're correct. Foul language is "obscene" in the state courts. A verbal threat is covered under "Assault" in our state laws, and if any of it is aimed toward a child----it's emotional and verbal child abuse, covered under the Family Code.
    Would the police file charges? Maybe not normally, but with the correct parent standing behind, insisting, oh yeah!

    Whyme-where did you get your law degree? I think you might better check the penal code before you start acting like a lawyer. There is not a policeman in the state of Texas that would arrest this guy for what has been described. Again, no one said there was any "foul language" and, even if there was, "obscenity" under Texas law involves the possession or distribution of obscene material, not use of foul language. While a verbal threat can be considered "assault" under Texas law, no one said this coach threatened anyone in any manner with physical harm. Likewise, the post said the kid was not around so there was no threat aimed at the child which would constitute child abuse. I love the way people take a simple post that says "coach so and so" got upset and made an horse's butt out of himself into "the coach needs to be thrown in jail". I assure you the police would absolutely NOT file any kind of charges if all that happened is what was originally described.
    The ONLY charge which might result if you were extremely lucky or knew a prosecutor who owed you a favor might be disorderly conduct which can result from use of foul or abusive language in a public place (a Class C misdemeanor). BUT, this guy seems to be describing a private conversation, not a public one, as indicated by the fact that not even his own kid was around. He never said there were any witnesses or that it occurred on the pitch, or any other public place for that matter, as Pinknupe seems to believe. Meet with the club and have disciplinary proceedings started with NTSSA, if you can get a hearing, but give up on any idea that the police will get involved because it won't happen.

    jokerswild

    Posts: 22
    Join date: 2010-01-27

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  jokerswild on Mon May 31, 2010 5:54 pm

    Folks, let's settle down. This tirade did not involve foul language. It DID involve multiple insults of my son and both of us parents and numerous comments about how lucky we were to be permitted in the shadow of his glory. Fortunately the child was not present for this tirade and is completely oblivious to the event. This is not the type of situation where any legal action would be warranted. Most likely I'll just move on down the road and let this guy lie to the parents remaining about why we left. What I SHOULD do is destroy his reputation, which would NOT be difficult by simply telling the truth about what happened. Honestly, though, that's not my style. Karma's a bitch, and I suspect that eventually life will abuse him like a debutante at a biker bar!!!!

    mcdribble

    Posts: 29
    Join date: 2009-08-24

    Re: Honesty NOT the best message when talking to coaches...

    Post  mcdribble on Mon May 31, 2010 10:22 pm

    jokerswild wrote:Another interesting turn taken in this conversation with the coach was that he began to INSULT my kid during the conversation. My kid was not present for the conversation, but I think the coach thought that he needed to "take us down a notch." And his approach? He insulted my kid with three derogatory comments!!!!!! Never mind that my kid has played his ass off for that coach and easily been among the most productive 2-3 kids on the team. By the end of the conversation he was backpeddling and apologizing for losing his cool, but the damage was done. I don't care how angry you are that a kid might leave your team or how angry you are with the parents, you do NOT EVER INSULT AN 11-year old kid!!!!!!! What a friggin' a-hole!!!! Any guesses on how likely we are to return to that team????? And, yes, I will disclose what team...in due time.


    Jokers wild don't joke with us. You put it out there so please don't leave us hanging. Don't you think it's only fair before us innocent ones look at teams that we know who did this to your family? You said in due time and with tomorrow being the first day of open practice I think now is "due time." Save us the trouble and save us wasting our time.

      Current date/time is Wed May 23, 2012 4:19 am