My wife has been told our bb "will have to compete" for his spot and suggested he go back to rec (we are D2) after being told all players were to be kept. What an ugly game they play. Repeat injuries prevented us from participating this year as we would have liked. Me bb aside, I do not believe he is being honest with other parents as well. And his coaching is not my fav. Guess we should move on?

Your bb should have to compete for his spot, it is a "competitive" sport and league. You should be able to trust your coach to provide good coaching and an honest evaluation. If you do not trust his evaluation and do not like his coaching style the it is probably time to move on.

I totally agree with Go. Any coach of a competitive team that is not looking to improve his talent, where needed, shouldn't be coaching competitive soccer. There are no "guaranteed spots" in this environment. Sounds to me like he made some ridiculous promises for the sole purpose of trying to ensure he had a full roster come signing day while always having improvement in the back of his mind. He picked your bb once and is now saying he should go back to rec? Obviously not very good at development if he's recommending a move back to rec after working with the kid for a full year. Find another team with a good coach that can help him improve.

Don't trust any coach. Select soccer is a business and should be treated as such. Coaches are out for nothing more than their jobs and pocketbook. At the end of the day every player is replaceable. That is the sad truth. Any coach who tells you to go back to rec is maybe telling you the truth and/or his coaching is not very good. All players can be developed question being is are the parents and kid coachable.

Go is correct...you're bb should earn/work for his spot, it's competitive soccer...AND a player should be able to trust his coach. Few players will play college soccer, so the lessons they learn throughout their soccer "careers" in MS & HS should be solid life lessons that build character, sportsmanship, healthy competition, comraderie, respect of adults/coaches and ultimately a love of the game they will carry with them. It's always a bit of a gamble to put coaches "on a pedastal" and hold them to unobtainable high standards, but there's nothing wrong with looking for a coach that will be a positive role model on and off the pitch for your bb. We are in the midst of this dilemma with my older bb with a coach he respects but lately has experienced disappointment...it's a tough life lesson.

I am a little surprised that a coach would tell a 12 year old to play Rec. These are the reasons I could see a coach making that statement.
1. Time committment: Do you make it to most practices and games?
2. Effort: Does your child hustle at practice and games? Does he look like he wants to be there? Sometimes coaches misinterpret this. I have. Not all kids look the same way. Some just don't show as much emotion, but the desire to play is there.
To me, any 12 year old that is willing to put in the time and effort should find a spot on a Classic League team. However, this is the harsh reality that select sports puts on kids. It is about getting the best team possible. If a coach doesn't think you are the one that he wants on his team then you just go and find another team.

This would be my strategy:
1. Gut check: Ask your child why they want to play club soccer. Is it really important to try to play against the best players possible or do you just want to play on a team. I actually like Rec a lot. Unlike most people, I promote Rec soccer all the time.
2. If he wants to play at a high level, get a few private lessons to work on his technical level. There might be some basic skills that no one has shown him.

3. He needs to play as much as possible. If there isn't enough kids for 2v2 or3v3 then he should kick a ball on a wall. Some of the best coaches I know recommend wall work.

4. Encourage to the max. But don't make him think he is only worthy if he is a great athlete. I know a lot of great athletes which I am thankful they are not mine. Unfortunately, in every sport there is a physical factor. Speed, strength, flexibility, etc. Weaknesses can be overcome, but it presents frustrating challenges sometimes.
Good luck and hang in there. I have coached JV High school boys where I have seen poor to mediocre players become decent varsity players. Amazing? No. But still able to enjoy the game at a 3A or 4A High School level or the bottom half of D1 Classic on down.

Once all is said and done, it's just a game and I don't envy most professional athletes as much as a college graduate in a high paying field.

Mrclean - Well said. I am just getting into Classic ('00) and will internalize your points. They are ones that I hope to keep grounded with.

Thanks. Unfortunately, I have not always been grounded and have thrown out many words that I wished I could have taken back. But, you live and learn.

notbob212 wrote:My wife has been told our bb "will have to compete" for his spot and suggested he go back to rec (we are D2) after being told all players were to be kept. What an ugly game they play. Repeat injuries prevented us from participating this year as we would have liked. Me bb aside, I do not believe he is being honest with other parents as well. And his coaching is not my fav. Guess we should move on?

Time to move on. The comment about going rec was rough. That was either the coaches way of being a total [url=http://www.txsoccer.info/mailto:^@&#&$]^@&#&$[/url] or his way of making you mad so you will leave and not think of coming back. That is hard to swallow when you have been playing Classic D2.

No!

notbob212 wrote:My wife has been told our bb "will have to compete" for his spot and suggested he go back to rec (we are D2) after being told all players were to be kept. What an ugly game they play. Repeat injuries prevented us from participating this year as we would have liked. Me bb aside, I do not believe he is being honest with other parents as well. And his coaching is not my fav. Guess we should move on?

I still trying to figure out how he is being dishonest. It sounds like he was up front and told you the situation your bb will be in and you guys didn't like the answer....

He told parents he was keeping all players then decided ow. There have been other things as well. My like or dislike of his answer is independent of my assessment of the coach's integrity

so his big mistake was telling parents that he would keep all the players?

We had a coach we didn't trust, who's integrity is questioned in our neck of the woods. It wasn't a question of playing time or whether he would keep our bb---he would have, but in our case, we decided it was more important to have a coach that our bb would respect and trust. We found that and have no regrets.
....The irony: the coach appears to have a decent reputation in the soccer world.

The answer is "No". You should NOT play for a coach you don't trust.

At the same time, a coach should not promise a spot to a player that sucks.

FlatBack4 wrote:The answer is "No". You should NOT play for a coach you don't trust.

At the same time, a coach should not promise a spot to a player that sucks.

I couldn't agree more with your last statement!

wareagle-your avatar does not really go with your handle

How tacky to refer to a child's developing ability and level as "sucks". Each will do their best and hopefully, with the correct coaching and encouragement, improve, no matter the level.

I think I have heard you, "sucky comment person" screaming at your child at a game or 2...........pitiful

To the rest of you, thank you for your insight and opinions.

notbob212 wrote:How tacky to refer to a child's developing ability and level as "sucks". Each will do their best and hopefully, with the correct coaching and encouragement, improve, no matter the level.

I think I have heard you, "sucky comment person" screaming at your child at a game or 2...........pitiful

To the rest of you, thank you for your insight and opinions.

I don't think a coach should actually use the word "sucks" but I do think a coach should tell the parents that their kid is not at the level he needs to be. If the kid needs to go back to rec for confidence or skills then a coach should say it....

notbob212 wrote:How tacky to refer to a child's developing ability and level as "sucks". Each will do their best and hopefully, with the correct coaching and encouragement, improve, no matter the level.

I think I have heard you, "sucky comment person" screaming at your child at a game or 2...........pitiful

To the rest of you, thank you for your insight and opinions.

Ahhh yes... now we know at least one parent with a kid that can't play but is happy just because he tries really hard.

PAAAAALEEEEZ. Go to rec and try hard there.

How's that for being tacky?

And, it's just not normal for a guy to call another guy "tacky". "Sucky comment person"? Ummm.... Let me guess.. You played the flute in your high school band, right?

FlatBack4 wrote:

notbob212 wrote:How tacky to refer to a child's developing ability and level as "sucks". Each will do their best and hopefully, with the correct coaching and encouragement, improve, no matter the level.

I think I have heard you, "sucky comment person" screaming at your child at a game or 2...........pitiful

To the rest of you, thank you for your insight and opinions.

Ahhh yes... now we know at least one parent with a kid that can't play but is happy just because he tries really hard.

PAAAAALEEEEZ. Go to rec and try hard there.

How's that for being tacky?

And, it's just not normal for a guy to call another guy "tacky". "Sucky comment person"? Ummm.... Let me guess.. You played the flute in your high school band, right?

Not to get too sentimental on you, but I have missed you FlatBack4. I came back to this thread just because I knew your response would make me smile.
Looks like you will be making some trips south to watch soccer in the Fall? Congratulations to your son!

Flatback4.....you caught me..........I'm really a girl

Note to file.........next time use the word "freakin".............

If you are asking this question here, I take it that your bb trusts that unworthy of your trust coach. Sooner than later your bb will catch you talking about the coach, and will figure out how you feel. Then your young one won't understand why dad let him play for such a person. Nothing good will come of that.
If the parent doesn't trust the coach, the kid should not play for that coach. Get your bb and go where neither the coach, nor you have preconceived opinions, or shut up with the lack of trust and let your bb stay put.

.

...and that's just my freaking opinion